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Recently I had to say goodbye to a very Dear friend...
Bella was a rescue, one I rescued and raised myself.
She was so close to death at that time. Small, frail, wounded and barely 4-5 weeks old. (Likely a case of dumping by another person) she had been found alongside a highway by a family friend when she went to get her mail one morning. Although no other kittens were found I'm sure there had been more that unfortunately weren't as lucky. (The friend did look to see if there was, but only found her.)
After weeks of TLC, medication and good food her true colours and personality began to show. What once was a (VERY) dirty, emaciated kitten blossomed into a gorgeous, fluffy calico. I named her "Bellamia"; A name that means "Beautiful" as that is what she was both inside and out.
Bella had been with me over 17 years. She was my best friend. She helped me through many lonely nights and comforted me in some of my weakest moments...
She traveled to every house I've moved to and even to another province before we finally had to say goodbye. I love her so much. Making the decision to let her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But she was ill, she was tired and she was ready. The lovely vets who helped me with her ing were very kind, I can't thank them enough for making her last moments so peaceful.
Bella continued to comfort me to the very end, as I her, as she purred happily and laid her head in my hands as she let out her final breaths.
I miss you my Dear Bellamia. Rest easy.
We will meet again some day.
(Pawprint heart from: NicePNG.com)
Bella was a rescue, one I rescued and raised myself.
She was so close to death at that time. Small, frail, wounded and barely 4-5 weeks old. (Likely a case of dumping by another person) she had been found alongside a highway by a family friend when she went to get her mail one morning. Although no other kittens were found I'm sure there had been more that unfortunately weren't as lucky. (The friend did look to see if there was, but only found her.)
After weeks of TLC, medication and good food her true colours and personality began to show. What once was a (VERY) dirty, emaciated kitten blossomed into a gorgeous, fluffy calico. I named her "Bellamia"; A name that means "Beautiful" as that is what she was both inside and out.
Bella had been with me over 17 years. She was my best friend. She helped me through many lonely nights and comforted me in some of my weakest moments...
She traveled to every house I've moved to and even to another province before we finally had to say goodbye. I love her so much. Making the decision to let her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But she was ill, she was tired and she was ready. The lovely vets who helped me with her ing were very kind, I can't thank them enough for making her last moments so peaceful.
Bella continued to comfort me to the very end, as I her, as she purred happily and laid her head in my hands as she let out her final breaths.
I miss you my Dear Bellamia. Rest easy.
We will meet again some day.
(Pawprint heart from: NicePNG.com)
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The guilt you may be feeling is a form of grief as well, don't be fooled. I felt guilty over my choice with Bella but I know deep down it was the right thing to do. I don't know you're full story but I can say that just because you have taken your time and maybe even forced yourself to "get on with your life" that doesn't make you a bad Son or that what you've done was wrong. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Grief often comes in waves. Just because you think you didn't do so in the start doesn't mean you weren't in your own way or that you won't continue to do so. Be kind to yourself.
Sending hugs.
Please take the time you need.
Thanks so much for your kind words. <3