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Family Matters
© 2022 by M. Mitch Marmel
Thumbnail art by
tegerio, color by 
Major Matt Mason
Part Three.
Westersloe:
Tali’s wagon was an interesting example of what her husband, Matt, termed ‘technology.’ It looked like one of the Gypsy Wolves’ wagons, brightly painted and able to fit several people. Any similarity between one of the Wolves’ conveyances ended when you went inside, though.
It was much larger on the inside, something that I didn’t think possible without requiring Gramerye. There were at least three rooms that was I was aware of, although I’ve never had a tour.
I walked up the short flight of wooden stairs and rapped on the door, my ears swiveling as I heard an obviously falsetto voice call out, “Hello, who is it?”
“Corporal Winterbough,” I replied. “May I speak to you?”
“Sorry,” the falsetto said, “can’t come to the door right now. I’m doing the dishes.”
Despite the silly voice, I was fairly sure who it was. “Fred? Open up.”
The door promptly opened just wide enough to reveal a maniacally grinning canine face. “Hi, Master!” the Demented Dog said. “How’s tricks?”
I smiled. “Is Tali in? I need to talk to her.”
“I think she’s in the back with Matt,” and he gave me a broad wink. “You can come in and wait. Tea?”
“Yes, thank you,” and my voice trailed off as he opened the door to it me. “What’s all this?”
Fred was dressed in several layers of embroidered silk robes. “Oh, the geisha drag?” He grinned again while I tried to figure out what a ‘geisha’ was. “Matt, Michael and me were up in Eastness.”
“Again? Is anything wrong?”
He shook his head, his tail wagging in counterpoint. “Not at all, but we decided to help the culture of the place by opening a theater.”
“A theater? Let me guess, you were the opening act?”
“All three of us were!” Fred proclaimed, throwing his chest out proudly. “Next time you’re ever in Eastness, check out the Doily Cart Theater.”
“’Doily Cart?’” My eyes went wide. “You didn’t take any doilies from the [Sheaf of Arrows], did you?” The doilies in the ladies’ parlor at the [Sheaf] had been a gift from Estvan Silverbrush, and were heavily magicked. Trying to remove them once you’d sat on one would cause them to reproduce somehow, and seeing a wave of doilies erupting from the public house’s front door is seared into my memory.
“No,” the canine replied. “They didn’t want to come. But the seats in the theater were hard, and the doilies we supplied made them a bit more comfortable.” He busied himself with making tea, and gave me a steaming mug. “Wait here, and I’ll go see if Matt and Tali are presentable.” He went to the far end of the room and turned right.
About half a mug of really excellent tea (with no sugar; I was off sweets for a couple weeks, after an encounter with something very nasty up in Eastness) later Tali and Matt, both wearing jumpsuits, came around the corner. “Hello, Corporal,” Tali said. “Fred told us that you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes. Have you made any progress on your report to your superiors?”
Matt smirked. “Tali has no superiors – and damned few equals,” and the bear slipped an arm around his wife’s waist and hugged her.
“Oh, you,” the feline said. She gently removed Matt’s arm and walked over to one of the s, set with blinking lights, and ran her paws over a few buttons. There was a soft whirring sound, and pages of stiff white paper began to slide out of a slot. “I didn’t have my instruments nearby when the Gap we encountered manifested,” she explained, “so exactly why they appear and how they propagate are still mysteries, although I do have a few theories. However, I’ve been able to confirm why venery is useful in dispelling them.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “When two Elves have venery, it results in a release of energy – magic, if you will – at the, er, climactic moment, that seems to disrupt the Gap’s energy field,” she said, speaking slowly because it was pretty obvious that I was trying to follow what she was saying.
[Note appended to manuscript: “Like a blind fur in a desert.”]
[Note appended to manuscript: “Shaddap.”]
I took a sip of my tea. “Wait a moment. You said that you didn’t have your instruments the last time.”
“That’s right.”
“So how did you learn about this, um, release of magickal energy during venery?”
Tali gave a slightly embarrassed grin at me and Matt. “I . . . might . . . have asked to sit in and observe while a few of the couples around here – “
“I didn’t wish to know that,” I hastily interjected. “I was wanting to know if you were done with your report so I can add it to mine.”
“Of course.” She picked up the sheaf of papers and offered them to me. “Hot off the presses, to coin a phrase. Thirty pages total. I hope your liege-lord can understand it.”
“She used small words,” Fred remarked helpfully. He was back in his usual tros and excessively devotional loud shirt.
I thanked them for the tea and the report, and as I got ready to leave Tali asked, “Has Missy returned?”
“Not yet,” I replied. My ears swiveled. “Why?”
She looked pensive. “She and Ooo-er and I need to clear the air between us.”
“I’ll let you know when she arrives,” I said, and headed back to the Lodge.
This time, I was going to lock the door on the storage for the [Tears of the Trees].
***
Anastasia:
“Nippy said that you wanted to see me, Ma’am?” She looked tired.
I smiled. “Yes, I did, Tessie. Please come in and have a seat.” I couldn’t resist smiling at the sight of my mate’s maid dressed in the Wolf Queen’s Regalia, but it’s hers now, as the Raccoon Queen. She took a seat a little apart from the does, whose expressions at the sight of her varied from amusement to deep disapproval. Tessie put her paws on her knees and hunched forward slightly, like an errant kit.
Which, in a way, she was.
“Look,” she blurted suddenly, “if this is about the roof, I’m terribly sorry, but the Regalia insists that I need to exercise at all hours, day and night. Please, if it’ll help you can take it out of my pay.”
I frowned. “My husband pays you?”
“No, Ma’am, but I could convince him to start paying me so he can take the cost of repairs out of it.”
That made me blink. It was a solution almost worthy of the Ashearth Sisters. Almost. “May I speak to the Regalia?” I asked.
Tessie abruptly sat up very straight. “First of Eldest,” she said. Her voice had that curious flat accent to it that I recalled from earlier encounters.
“Raccoon Queen,” I said. I briefly summed up the complaints made by the does in the room and said, “I understand that you want to have Tessie in good condition for anything that she might be called upon to do as Raccoon Queen, but I have responsibility for the people of Elfhame. Their welfare, their health, and their economy.”
“I understand,” the Raccoon Queen said after a few moments. “The Raccoon Queen should not interfere with those she must stand ready to protect.”
I nodded. “There are areas to the west, in the Widdershins Country, that might suit your needs. Is there anything you require?” The Raccoon Queen shook her head and I asked, “Could I speak with Tessie, please? There are one or two other matters to address.”
“Of course, First of Eldest.”
Tessie blinked and seemed to relax in her chair. “Thank you, Ma’am.”
I raised a finger. “There are a few other matters to be discussed, Raccoon Queen.” Tessie gulped and nodded, and I said, “The Master has suggested that you learn Elfhamian, and since you will soon be married to the Sixth of His Name, you have to learn how to do certain things.” I smiled reassuringly. “You see . . .
“An Elfhame home is run with precision
An Elfhame home requires nothing less!
Tradition, discipline, and rules
Must be the tools
Without them - disorder! Chaos!
Moral disintegration!
In short, you have a ghastly mess!”
The raccoon nodded. “Yes, Ma’am, I quite agree!”
“The children must be molded, shaped and taught
That life can be a struggle to be faced and fought
They've got to learn the honest truth
Despite their youth
They must learn
About the proper life to lead!”
“Exactly!” said one of the younger does. I summed up, with the Raccoon Queen following after my words.
“In time they’ll learn to walk in your footsteps (My footsteps!)
To tread the honored narrow path with pride (With pride!)
Tomorrow’s sunup, I decree
Will have you sent to be
A student, at Goodwife Fletcher’s side!”
The Raccoon Queen turned to face the stern visage of Mrs. Fletcher, and audibly gulped.
***
Tali:
A few keystrokes, and a copy of the report that I gave Winterbough was sent off to Temporal Corps Headquarters. It was following the report of our activities in Eastness, along with commendations for Specialists Duarte and Fjordsdottir. The girls deserved it for their good work.
“Oh, c’mon Matt,” and my ears flicked as Fred continued to try to convince my husband. “It’ll be fun! You know, excitement, adventure and really wild things?”
“No,” my teddy bear said for the third time.
“Suit yourself,” and Fred teleported out. Michael had already left.
Matt winked at me. “So, what shall we do?”
I winked back. “Well, I had thought about a nice picnic lunch – so long as the weather holds up.” My smile faltered. “But I think I need to find a certain otter and have a chat.”
“Wear an insulated uniform.”
“Already wearing it,” and with that I stepped out into the slight drizzle.
<NEXT>
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST>
© 2022 by M. Mitch Marmel
Thumbnail art by
tegerio, color by Major Matt MasonPart Three.
Westersloe:
Tali’s wagon was an interesting example of what her husband, Matt, termed ‘technology.’ It looked like one of the Gypsy Wolves’ wagons, brightly painted and able to fit several people. Any similarity between one of the Wolves’ conveyances ended when you went inside, though.
It was much larger on the inside, something that I didn’t think possible without requiring Gramerye. There were at least three rooms that was I was aware of, although I’ve never had a tour.
I walked up the short flight of wooden stairs and rapped on the door, my ears swiveling as I heard an obviously falsetto voice call out, “Hello, who is it?”
“Corporal Winterbough,” I replied. “May I speak to you?”
“Sorry,” the falsetto said, “can’t come to the door right now. I’m doing the dishes.”
Despite the silly voice, I was fairly sure who it was. “Fred? Open up.”
The door promptly opened just wide enough to reveal a maniacally grinning canine face. “Hi, Master!” the Demented Dog said. “How’s tricks?”
I smiled. “Is Tali in? I need to talk to her.”
“I think she’s in the back with Matt,” and he gave me a broad wink. “You can come in and wait. Tea?”
“Yes, thank you,” and my voice trailed off as he opened the door to it me. “What’s all this?”
Fred was dressed in several layers of embroidered silk robes. “Oh, the geisha drag?” He grinned again while I tried to figure out what a ‘geisha’ was. “Matt, Michael and me were up in Eastness.”
“Again? Is anything wrong?”
He shook his head, his tail wagging in counterpoint. “Not at all, but we decided to help the culture of the place by opening a theater.”
“A theater? Let me guess, you were the opening act?”
“All three of us were!” Fred proclaimed, throwing his chest out proudly. “Next time you’re ever in Eastness, check out the Doily Cart Theater.”
“’Doily Cart?’” My eyes went wide. “You didn’t take any doilies from the [Sheaf of Arrows], did you?” The doilies in the ladies’ parlor at the [Sheaf] had been a gift from Estvan Silverbrush, and were heavily magicked. Trying to remove them once you’d sat on one would cause them to reproduce somehow, and seeing a wave of doilies erupting from the public house’s front door is seared into my memory.
“No,” the canine replied. “They didn’t want to come. But the seats in the theater were hard, and the doilies we supplied made them a bit more comfortable.” He busied himself with making tea, and gave me a steaming mug. “Wait here, and I’ll go see if Matt and Tali are presentable.” He went to the far end of the room and turned right.
About half a mug of really excellent tea (with no sugar; I was off sweets for a couple weeks, after an encounter with something very nasty up in Eastness) later Tali and Matt, both wearing jumpsuits, came around the corner. “Hello, Corporal,” Tali said. “Fred told us that you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes. Have you made any progress on your report to your superiors?”
Matt smirked. “Tali has no superiors – and damned few equals,” and the bear slipped an arm around his wife’s waist and hugged her.
“Oh, you,” the feline said. She gently removed Matt’s arm and walked over to one of the s, set with blinking lights, and ran her paws over a few buttons. There was a soft whirring sound, and pages of stiff white paper began to slide out of a slot. “I didn’t have my instruments nearby when the Gap we encountered manifested,” she explained, “so exactly why they appear and how they propagate are still mysteries, although I do have a few theories. However, I’ve been able to confirm why venery is useful in dispelling them.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “When two Elves have venery, it results in a release of energy – magic, if you will – at the, er, climactic moment, that seems to disrupt the Gap’s energy field,” she said, speaking slowly because it was pretty obvious that I was trying to follow what she was saying.
[Note appended to manuscript: “Like a blind fur in a desert.”]
[Note appended to manuscript: “Shaddap.”]
I took a sip of my tea. “Wait a moment. You said that you didn’t have your instruments the last time.”
“That’s right.”
“So how did you learn about this, um, release of magickal energy during venery?”
Tali gave a slightly embarrassed grin at me and Matt. “I . . . might . . . have asked to sit in and observe while a few of the couples around here – “
“I didn’t wish to know that,” I hastily interjected. “I was wanting to know if you were done with your report so I can add it to mine.”
“Of course.” She picked up the sheaf of papers and offered them to me. “Hot off the presses, to coin a phrase. Thirty pages total. I hope your liege-lord can understand it.”
“She used small words,” Fred remarked helpfully. He was back in his usual tros and excessively devotional loud shirt.
I thanked them for the tea and the report, and as I got ready to leave Tali asked, “Has Missy returned?”
“Not yet,” I replied. My ears swiveled. “Why?”
She looked pensive. “She and Ooo-er and I need to clear the air between us.”
“I’ll let you know when she arrives,” I said, and headed back to the Lodge.
This time, I was going to lock the door on the storage for the [Tears of the Trees].
***
Anastasia:
“Nippy said that you wanted to see me, Ma’am?” She looked tired.
I smiled. “Yes, I did, Tessie. Please come in and have a seat.” I couldn’t resist smiling at the sight of my mate’s maid dressed in the Wolf Queen’s Regalia, but it’s hers now, as the Raccoon Queen. She took a seat a little apart from the does, whose expressions at the sight of her varied from amusement to deep disapproval. Tessie put her paws on her knees and hunched forward slightly, like an errant kit.
Which, in a way, she was.
“Look,” she blurted suddenly, “if this is about the roof, I’m terribly sorry, but the Regalia insists that I need to exercise at all hours, day and night. Please, if it’ll help you can take it out of my pay.”
I frowned. “My husband pays you?”
“No, Ma’am, but I could convince him to start paying me so he can take the cost of repairs out of it.”
That made me blink. It was a solution almost worthy of the Ashearth Sisters. Almost. “May I speak to the Regalia?” I asked.
Tessie abruptly sat up very straight. “First of Eldest,” she said. Her voice had that curious flat accent to it that I recalled from earlier encounters.
“Raccoon Queen,” I said. I briefly summed up the complaints made by the does in the room and said, “I understand that you want to have Tessie in good condition for anything that she might be called upon to do as Raccoon Queen, but I have responsibility for the people of Elfhame. Their welfare, their health, and their economy.”
“I understand,” the Raccoon Queen said after a few moments. “The Raccoon Queen should not interfere with those she must stand ready to protect.”
I nodded. “There are areas to the west, in the Widdershins Country, that might suit your needs. Is there anything you require?” The Raccoon Queen shook her head and I asked, “Could I speak with Tessie, please? There are one or two other matters to address.”
“Of course, First of Eldest.”
Tessie blinked and seemed to relax in her chair. “Thank you, Ma’am.”
I raised a finger. “There are a few other matters to be discussed, Raccoon Queen.” Tessie gulped and nodded, and I said, “The Master has suggested that you learn Elfhamian, and since you will soon be married to the Sixth of His Name, you have to learn how to do certain things.” I smiled reassuringly. “You see . . .
“An Elfhame home is run with precision
An Elfhame home requires nothing less!
Tradition, discipline, and rules
Must be the tools
Without them - disorder! Chaos!
Moral disintegration!
In short, you have a ghastly mess!”
The raccoon nodded. “Yes, Ma’am, I quite agree!”
“The children must be molded, shaped and taught
That life can be a struggle to be faced and fought
They've got to learn the honest truth
Despite their youth
They must learn
About the proper life to lead!”
“Exactly!” said one of the younger does. I summed up, with the Raccoon Queen following after my words.
“In time they’ll learn to walk in your footsteps (My footsteps!)
To tread the honored narrow path with pride (With pride!)
Tomorrow’s sunup, I decree
Will have you sent to be
A student, at Goodwife Fletcher’s side!”
The Raccoon Queen turned to face the stern visage of Mrs. Fletcher, and audibly gulped.
***
Tali:
A few keystrokes, and a copy of the report that I gave Winterbough was sent off to Temporal Corps Headquarters. It was following the report of our activities in Eastness, along with commendations for Specialists Duarte and Fjordsdottir. The girls deserved it for their good work.
“Oh, c’mon Matt,” and my ears flicked as Fred continued to try to convince my husband. “It’ll be fun! You know, excitement, adventure and really wild things?”
“No,” my teddy bear said for the third time.
“Suit yourself,” and Fred teleported out. Michael had already left.
Matt winked at me. “So, what shall we do?”
I winked back. “Well, I had thought about a nice picnic lunch – so long as the weather holds up.” My smile faltered. “But I think I need to find a certain otter and have a chat.”
“Wear an insulated uniform.”
“Already wearing it,” and with that I stepped out into the slight drizzle.
<NEXT>
<PREVIOUS>
<FIRST>
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"On another occasion I met a fellow from one of their worlds -- a civilian and not a member of the Time Corps, I don't think -- who was soon to be married. He sang a very on-the-nose song I Love Technology. It was all very touching if you were there, just still full of social awkwardness." (Ancbyrba Qlanzvgr)
The children must be molded, shaped and taught
... yet, you know, not carefully taught in the bad way. (Fbhgu Cnpvsvp)
Castor oil works wonders for all sorts of things.