1095 submissions
While discussing
artfulreggie's gardening show about permaberries, the subject of plant food came up, and we both agreed that
HashtagPurr is definitely the most nourishing thing to feed berries. Story involves permaberries, perma-vore, and a cocky cat getting turned into juice :3
Reggie demonstrates how to choose proper plant food for permaberries with the help of Hash, who happens to be very nutritious...
Gardening with Reggie: Plant Food
By: Indi
Reggie cheerfully stood before a camera, the hefty fox taking a moment to enjoy the relative calm in his greenhouse. He adjusted his brand new overalls, trying not to dwell on the fact they were already starting to feel a bit snug, but his grin never faded. It was time to start the show.
“Hello, and welcome to another episode of Gardening with Reggie! Today will be another in my brand new series on how to properly care for berries. Now if you've been keeping up with the show you'll know that a couple weeks back I introduced my friend August to the wonders of being a permaberry.”
The camera panned, revealing a massive blueberry lion resting on his middle. They were a near-perfect sphere, entirely blue and wiggling their paws faintly. As soon as they saw the camera they blushed violet, futilely attempting to avoid eye .
“August has just started accepting his lucky fate as a permaberry, and barely complains at all during waterings. Course ya still wobble quite a bit when getting juiced, don't ya?” Reggie chuckled and patted the berry on the side, causing him to whimper a little in embarrassment. “Speaking of which, I'd like to take a moment to thank all the viewers who've bought Lionberry Juice already!”
Reggie bent down, his overalls audibly creaking some, and came back up with a jug of juice in one paw. The liquid within was dark blue. On the label was August's round blushing face, surrounded by the brand name. “August has been ecstatic to hear about how swiftly his juice is selling out, not to mention all the amazing he's been given about his taste! And of course a portion of all profits go towards caring for August so he can keep producing delicious juice for years to come.”
At the sound of the word “years” a look of dread came over August, as if the permanency of his situation was finally hitting him. He also blushed harder, too.
“But back to the matter at hand. Previously I've focused mainly on creating a proper growing environment for your berry and methods for watering them. And of course how to help them adjust to their exciting new life as a permaberry!” Reggie smiled at August, who frowned. “But today we'll be talking about how to pick out proper plant food for berries. Along with sunlight and water, berries still require mundane food to grow well. Some food works better than others, though.”
Reggie moved to one side of August. “To help me showcase this I've brought in another special guest for today: my friend Hash!”
A slim, spotted cat strolled into view, snorting as he gave August a teasing poke. “Dude I can't believe you got yourself turned into a permaberry by Reggie! Like, you're gonna be a big round juice dispenser forever. No more going anywhere on your own power, just stuck in this greenhouse, forever.” The cat burst into laughter, slapping the powerless berry's side. “And it was such an obvious trap, too! I'd never be that dumb. You went viral, you know? Snippets of you blimping up and wobbling around are still popping up on my feeds.” He gave his friend another poke before turning to Reggie. “So what are we gonna do to him today? Poke him till he pops? Turn him into a giant berry pie?”
August whimpered at both suggestions, trying to wobble away from Hash but making no progress.
“Of course not; it'd take at least a year for a berry to be mature enough to turn into pie. As I'd mentioned before, we'll be showcasing what a proper diet for a berry looks like.” Reggie's grin was almost devilish, though Hash was too busy feeling smug to notice. “Hash, care to take a guess about what kind of food a berry should eat?”
The cat shrugged with disinterest. “I dunno, a buffet worth of burgers? Or maybe just a single salad, light on the dressing—especially with how huge he is! Oh wait, I know! Obviously a blueberry lion would eat a blueberry zebra!” He laughed at his own joke, clearly delighted with himself.
“Well you weren't too far off,” Reggie replied, still smiling as he slowly snuck up on Hash. “Actually any sizable amount of protein will do. Even—for instance—a small spotty cat.”
Confusion came upon Hash—at least until he was picked up by the scruff of his neck by Reggie. “What are you doing? Let me down, this isn't funny!”
“I'm feeding my hungry berry, of course!” Reggie used his free paw to coax open August's maw, the lion almost as confused as Hash. “Despite being small you're packed full of vital nutrients that'll help a berry grow big and juicy.”
“N-No, I'm not plant food—mmmmmmph!!”
With little effort Hash was shoved right into August's mouth, forcing the lion to swallow on instinct. Reggie firmly pushed the struggling cat forwards, and August had no other choice but to continue gulping down his unexpected meal. Hash kicked and squirmed and hissed. Nothing he did could break either Reggie or August's grips, though. Powerful swallows swiftly pulled him in up to his chest, then up to his waist. When his butt slid past August's lips Reggie let go, satisfied the smaller cat wouldn't be able to escape.
As August continued to swallow Hash whole, Reggie gently rolled August off his belly, allowing gravity to aid the berry in consumption.
“Yes, large berries like August here require lots of protein to reach their full potential, and nothing is quite as efficient—or cheap—as a whole person.” Reggie chuckled, turning to watch Hash's kicking legs descend into the depths of August. “Acquiring this kind of plant food can be somewhat difficult, of course. Delivery guys tend to be a good option, along with annoying coworkers. Then again I'm always fond of slacker friends who can't help but tease me about my weight all the time, right snack pack?”
Hash couldn't hear the taunt, but his squirming was all the answer Reggie needed.
“Besides the difficulty of selecting the food, most berries will also be a bit reluctant to swallow someone. But once they've taken a couple gulps instincts will kick in and they'll gobble them right up on their own. Just be careful to not get pulled in as well, since berries can be quite ravenous!”
Wiggling sneakers vanished from sight, and just like that Hash was gone. His curses could still be heard echoing around the interior of August, though they were sometimes hard to make out clearly.
“Berries 'digest' food differently than regular people do. When a meal falls into their cavernous stomach they are almost always caught in the pulpy core, which tangles them up and prevents them from fighting back. They'll also be mostly submerged in juice, again inhibiting their movement.”
“Let me out damn it!” Hash yelled. The cat was throwing a fit, causing August to sway gently and making the lion groan. Occasionally a slight imprint of a feline paw could be seen pushing against the taut berry hide from within. Reggie would always push them back.
“The berry's pulp will gradually wrap around the meal more and more, almost like a cocoon. It'll massage and squeeze them for a few hours, eventually converting them into fresh juice for the berry. For a few days after it'll add a unique flavor to the juice, which can be great for variant brews.”
Within August, Hash's tone was getting less threatening and more panicked. “I'm not plant food or flavoring or juice! Dude, Reggie, get me out of here!”
“Hash you're gonna be a fine supplement, don't worry! Besides, it's far too late to free you. If I tried to pull you out I'd get gulped down, too, and then there'd be no one to care for poor August. And obviously I'm not going to cut him open—that'd be a waste of a perfectly good berry!”
“But if you don't it'll be a waste of a perfectly good friend!” Hash insisted, desperate.
“You're not going to waste, you're making sure August stays healthy and ripe! Lionberry juice with a hint of Hash will undoubtedly be a best-seller, too.” Reggie gave the berry a soft wobble just to shake up the cat inside. “And to be honest, this'll save me from accidentally eating you the next time I get peckish. There were two close calls this week alone, and I've got a figure to maintain!”
Hash wasn't at all convinced by Reggie's words. His protests and pleas were muffled as he became more and more entangled. The squeezing would commence soon.
Reggie returned his attention to the camera. “It'll take a good while for August to properly process his meal, so we're gonna take a quick break. See you all in a sec.” He cheerfully winked at the camera as one last muffled whine echoed out from within August.
Hours later the camera was turned back on. Reggie proudly stood beside August, whose middle was quiet.
“And we're back! Time to see if our infused berry is ready.”
Reggie gave August's side a firm slap, and the berry's cheeks puffed up. August let out a long buorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp, something flying out from his maw and landing on the ground with a wet slap. It was the shirt Hash had been wearing, stained in juice and worse for wear.
“Definitely a good sign. And the berry looks a bit thicker as well.” Reggie nodded in approval. “A healthy diet will help a berry grow both in size and durability, and increase their juice production as well.”
A small spout was produced from the pocket of Reggie's overalls. August blushed at the mere sight of it, which made Reggie grin. The fox unzipped the jumpsuit the berry was wearing and carefully inserted the spout into August's exposed navel, tapping him like a keg. There were plenty of moans from the lion throughout it all; he clearly enjoyed the sensation now.
From the spout fresh juice poured into a cup Reggie held, until it was nearly full. He gave it a swirl, smelling the juice for a moment before taking a sip.
“Ooh, there's a faint hint of tangerine now! Always suspected Hash might be citrusy. It's an interesting combination, but it works surprisingly well.” Reggie downed the rest of the cup, then placed an empty jug beneath the tap. “I recommend feeding your berry at least once every couple weeks. Rarely you'll end up with a particularly ravenous berry, but even then they should only need a meal a week. And don't be afraid to experiment with their meals! Try all sorts of sizes and kinds, and find out what works best for your berry. That's all for this week, but don't forget to check the website and grab yourself some Lionberry with Hash. Stock's limited, so act now before it's all sold out for good!”
Reggie smiled and waved at the camera before it turned off.
artfulreggie's gardening show about permaberries, the subject of plant food came up, and we both agreed that
HashtagPurr is definitely the most nourishing thing to feed berries. Story involves permaberries, perma-vore, and a cocky cat getting turned into juice :3Reggie demonstrates how to choose proper plant food for permaberries with the help of Hash, who happens to be very nutritious...
Gardening with Reggie: Plant Food
By: Indi
Reggie cheerfully stood before a camera, the hefty fox taking a moment to enjoy the relative calm in his greenhouse. He adjusted his brand new overalls, trying not to dwell on the fact they were already starting to feel a bit snug, but his grin never faded. It was time to start the show.
“Hello, and welcome to another episode of Gardening with Reggie! Today will be another in my brand new series on how to properly care for berries. Now if you've been keeping up with the show you'll know that a couple weeks back I introduced my friend August to the wonders of being a permaberry.”
The camera panned, revealing a massive blueberry lion resting on his middle. They were a near-perfect sphere, entirely blue and wiggling their paws faintly. As soon as they saw the camera they blushed violet, futilely attempting to avoid eye .
“August has just started accepting his lucky fate as a permaberry, and barely complains at all during waterings. Course ya still wobble quite a bit when getting juiced, don't ya?” Reggie chuckled and patted the berry on the side, causing him to whimper a little in embarrassment. “Speaking of which, I'd like to take a moment to thank all the viewers who've bought Lionberry Juice already!”
Reggie bent down, his overalls audibly creaking some, and came back up with a jug of juice in one paw. The liquid within was dark blue. On the label was August's round blushing face, surrounded by the brand name. “August has been ecstatic to hear about how swiftly his juice is selling out, not to mention all the amazing he's been given about his taste! And of course a portion of all profits go towards caring for August so he can keep producing delicious juice for years to come.”
At the sound of the word “years” a look of dread came over August, as if the permanency of his situation was finally hitting him. He also blushed harder, too.
“But back to the matter at hand. Previously I've focused mainly on creating a proper growing environment for your berry and methods for watering them. And of course how to help them adjust to their exciting new life as a permaberry!” Reggie smiled at August, who frowned. “But today we'll be talking about how to pick out proper plant food for berries. Along with sunlight and water, berries still require mundane food to grow well. Some food works better than others, though.”
Reggie moved to one side of August. “To help me showcase this I've brought in another special guest for today: my friend Hash!”
A slim, spotted cat strolled into view, snorting as he gave August a teasing poke. “Dude I can't believe you got yourself turned into a permaberry by Reggie! Like, you're gonna be a big round juice dispenser forever. No more going anywhere on your own power, just stuck in this greenhouse, forever.” The cat burst into laughter, slapping the powerless berry's side. “And it was such an obvious trap, too! I'd never be that dumb. You went viral, you know? Snippets of you blimping up and wobbling around are still popping up on my feeds.” He gave his friend another poke before turning to Reggie. “So what are we gonna do to him today? Poke him till he pops? Turn him into a giant berry pie?”
August whimpered at both suggestions, trying to wobble away from Hash but making no progress.
“Of course not; it'd take at least a year for a berry to be mature enough to turn into pie. As I'd mentioned before, we'll be showcasing what a proper diet for a berry looks like.” Reggie's grin was almost devilish, though Hash was too busy feeling smug to notice. “Hash, care to take a guess about what kind of food a berry should eat?”
The cat shrugged with disinterest. “I dunno, a buffet worth of burgers? Or maybe just a single salad, light on the dressing—especially with how huge he is! Oh wait, I know! Obviously a blueberry lion would eat a blueberry zebra!” He laughed at his own joke, clearly delighted with himself.
“Well you weren't too far off,” Reggie replied, still smiling as he slowly snuck up on Hash. “Actually any sizable amount of protein will do. Even—for instance—a small spotty cat.”
Confusion came upon Hash—at least until he was picked up by the scruff of his neck by Reggie. “What are you doing? Let me down, this isn't funny!”
“I'm feeding my hungry berry, of course!” Reggie used his free paw to coax open August's maw, the lion almost as confused as Hash. “Despite being small you're packed full of vital nutrients that'll help a berry grow big and juicy.”
“N-No, I'm not plant food—mmmmmmph!!”
With little effort Hash was shoved right into August's mouth, forcing the lion to swallow on instinct. Reggie firmly pushed the struggling cat forwards, and August had no other choice but to continue gulping down his unexpected meal. Hash kicked and squirmed and hissed. Nothing he did could break either Reggie or August's grips, though. Powerful swallows swiftly pulled him in up to his chest, then up to his waist. When his butt slid past August's lips Reggie let go, satisfied the smaller cat wouldn't be able to escape.
As August continued to swallow Hash whole, Reggie gently rolled August off his belly, allowing gravity to aid the berry in consumption.
“Yes, large berries like August here require lots of protein to reach their full potential, and nothing is quite as efficient—or cheap—as a whole person.” Reggie chuckled, turning to watch Hash's kicking legs descend into the depths of August. “Acquiring this kind of plant food can be somewhat difficult, of course. Delivery guys tend to be a good option, along with annoying coworkers. Then again I'm always fond of slacker friends who can't help but tease me about my weight all the time, right snack pack?”
Hash couldn't hear the taunt, but his squirming was all the answer Reggie needed.
“Besides the difficulty of selecting the food, most berries will also be a bit reluctant to swallow someone. But once they've taken a couple gulps instincts will kick in and they'll gobble them right up on their own. Just be careful to not get pulled in as well, since berries can be quite ravenous!”
Wiggling sneakers vanished from sight, and just like that Hash was gone. His curses could still be heard echoing around the interior of August, though they were sometimes hard to make out clearly.
“Berries 'digest' food differently than regular people do. When a meal falls into their cavernous stomach they are almost always caught in the pulpy core, which tangles them up and prevents them from fighting back. They'll also be mostly submerged in juice, again inhibiting their movement.”
“Let me out damn it!” Hash yelled. The cat was throwing a fit, causing August to sway gently and making the lion groan. Occasionally a slight imprint of a feline paw could be seen pushing against the taut berry hide from within. Reggie would always push them back.
“The berry's pulp will gradually wrap around the meal more and more, almost like a cocoon. It'll massage and squeeze them for a few hours, eventually converting them into fresh juice for the berry. For a few days after it'll add a unique flavor to the juice, which can be great for variant brews.”
Within August, Hash's tone was getting less threatening and more panicked. “I'm not plant food or flavoring or juice! Dude, Reggie, get me out of here!”
“Hash you're gonna be a fine supplement, don't worry! Besides, it's far too late to free you. If I tried to pull you out I'd get gulped down, too, and then there'd be no one to care for poor August. And obviously I'm not going to cut him open—that'd be a waste of a perfectly good berry!”
“But if you don't it'll be a waste of a perfectly good friend!” Hash insisted, desperate.
“You're not going to waste, you're making sure August stays healthy and ripe! Lionberry juice with a hint of Hash will undoubtedly be a best-seller, too.” Reggie gave the berry a soft wobble just to shake up the cat inside. “And to be honest, this'll save me from accidentally eating you the next time I get peckish. There were two close calls this week alone, and I've got a figure to maintain!”
Hash wasn't at all convinced by Reggie's words. His protests and pleas were muffled as he became more and more entangled. The squeezing would commence soon.
Reggie returned his attention to the camera. “It'll take a good while for August to properly process his meal, so we're gonna take a quick break. See you all in a sec.” He cheerfully winked at the camera as one last muffled whine echoed out from within August.
Hours later the camera was turned back on. Reggie proudly stood beside August, whose middle was quiet.
“And we're back! Time to see if our infused berry is ready.”
Reggie gave August's side a firm slap, and the berry's cheeks puffed up. August let out a long buorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp, something flying out from his maw and landing on the ground with a wet slap. It was the shirt Hash had been wearing, stained in juice and worse for wear.
“Definitely a good sign. And the berry looks a bit thicker as well.” Reggie nodded in approval. “A healthy diet will help a berry grow both in size and durability, and increase their juice production as well.”
A small spout was produced from the pocket of Reggie's overalls. August blushed at the mere sight of it, which made Reggie grin. The fox unzipped the jumpsuit the berry was wearing and carefully inserted the spout into August's exposed navel, tapping him like a keg. There were plenty of moans from the lion throughout it all; he clearly enjoyed the sensation now.
From the spout fresh juice poured into a cup Reggie held, until it was nearly full. He gave it a swirl, smelling the juice for a moment before taking a sip.
“Ooh, there's a faint hint of tangerine now! Always suspected Hash might be citrusy. It's an interesting combination, but it works surprisingly well.” Reggie downed the rest of the cup, then placed an empty jug beneath the tap. “I recommend feeding your berry at least once every couple weeks. Rarely you'll end up with a particularly ravenous berry, but even then they should only need a meal a week. And don't be afraid to experiment with their meals! Try all sorts of sizes and kinds, and find out what works best for your berry. That's all for this week, but don't forget to check the website and grab yourself some Lionberry with Hash. Stock's limited, so act now before it's all sold out for good!”
Reggie smiled and waved at the camera before it turned off.
Category Story / Inflation
Species Lion
Size 100 x 100px
File Size 81.5 kB
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